If Bud Selig wants to contract, how about the Expo's and his OWN DAMN TEAM!! (and there's some Cammy love at the bottom of the column)

Or how about this, which I ripped off from a P-I writer: merging.

Merge the Minnesota Twins and Milwaukee Brewers and the two Florida teams (Tampa and Miami aka "Florida") to get the list down to 28 teams. Then you still have the Expo's, who you could either contract (with no one noticing) or MOVE -- hey, there's an idea, aren't there still dozens of cities clamoring for a piece of the big leagues? Then, the only sad-sack, irrelevant, never-gonna-win franchise left on the board is the Kansas City Royals. I suppose you could "merge" them with the St. Louis Cardinals... except there is no need or reason to merge St.L. with anyone. But why can't MLB work in Kansas City?

so, do you believe me yet about the OPS being a far better indication of offensive prowess than batting average? Huh? Well, check this out (and notice the AVG.'s for the players)

here's a personality test which is a compendium of bullshit:





Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.


I would rather be a Revolutionary:





Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.


Although I just don't get the Socialist Government part. WTF? This country was FOUNDED by Insolent Hotheads who disrespected the Crown... and we're the greatest god-damn nation on earth!

for grins I took the Woman test:




Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.


hmmmmm.....

Aresenal has won the Premiership!

I repeat, Arsenal has won the Premiership!

Well, now that I have that out of my system...

It's really too fucking bad the rest of my life isn't going as well as Indoor Soccer is for me right now.

Okay, call me an anti-semite, I just don't give a fuck any more. I don't give one god-damn about any Isreali's dying, any more than I give a shit about any Palestinians dying, or any Afghanistanians dying, or any Muslim's at all dying... or for that matter, any Protestants or Catholics dying in Ireland. If you want to go Kill/Get Killed in the name of some dumbass GOD or similar bullshit notion, YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD, asshole... BUT JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK OUT OF IT!!!!!!.

At this point, I will PROUDLY show myself as an athesist. I don't want anything to do with killing people for no god-damn good reason BECAUSE I don't believe in god. You can have your religion and use it as an excuse to kill each other, whatever...

My imaginary friend is better than your imaginary friend
My book is better than your book
This is my yard, you go play somewhere else

I am seriously sick of this BULLSHIT!!!
and to think we've been bribing the god-damn Isreali's for more than 20 years for peace in the region
I want my fucking money back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever felt like you are really letting someone down just because you yourself are just being a retarded jackass and you can't even get your own shit together, and someone is just trying to help you and you are effectively just shitting on them?

Even worse, beyond all this you just feel like you are throwing away a great opportunity someone is setting up for you, just becasue you aren't that enthusiastic about it, even though there is no reason you shouldn't be at least interested in it because there isn't exactly a whole lot else happening for you at the time? You just sort of hem and haw, ruminating until you completely psyche yourself out and talk yourself out of it, and then feel like a jackass because you're being incredibly lame and you're just squandering the opprotunity?

Huh? That ever to you, too?

Oh yeah... um... I was just sort of, you know... talking...

Starting in about '92-'93, I have loathed and reviled the Utah Jazz. They are definitely my most hated sports franchise EVER... but I have always had trouble stipulating exactly WHY I hate them so. It wasn't because they have been so consistently good for so long -- I'm willing to give teams the props they deserve when it comes to that (I don't HATE the Yankees, I just want nothing more than to see them lose -- there is a clear difference there). I always just felt like they were a bunch of low-rent punks, playing thug-style street-ball in a town that is supposed to be all goody-two shoes (just don't get me started on the Mormon's!) and pure -- yet have the most classless fans in major professional sports. It's almost as if their holier-than thou religious sancitiy gives them carte blanche to be a bunch of assholes, and they are. The most classless thing you can do as an athlete or spectator is cheer, or celebrate, when an opposing player is injured -- you can act indifferent, you don't Have to be sympathetic -- but I feel very strongly about this. I will never forget the cheer that arose from the Delta Center crowd a few years back, at the peak of the Jazz-Sonics rivalry, when Gary Payton went down with an ankle injury. Beyond all that, what the fuck is up with keeping the name Jazz. That has got to be THE most retarded thing in the NBA (even worse than the many Lakes in the greater L.A. area). If there is a less-apt description of corn-bread Salt lake City than Jazz, I don't know what it is. Change the freakin name when you move from New Orleans (and beyond that, is there a more drastic change in locale than New Orleans to Salt lake City?!!!)

Anyway, the point of all this is my resentment of the Jizz, and specifically Karl Malone and John Stockton, was very much validated when I saw the latest ESPN Page2 Readers Top 10 list (payind close attention to #'s 5 and 2). I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like the Stockton/Malone combo rode elbows and cheap shots to NBA superstardom.

both these sites were started and are administered by Bostonians, but the seem to have embraced our scrappy Mariners in the anti-Yankees cause:
yankees-suck.com/
yanks-suck.com

whiney bitch, yep, that's right... didn't he DEMAND to be traded to Cincy and ONLY Cincy so he could go "home." You wonder what this guy is thinking
If he hadn't screwed things up in Seattle, i.e. left in a big huff after demanding to be traded to one and only one team (handcuffing the Mariners -- but didn't we get the last laugh -- and will that go down, considering the circumstances, as one of the greatest trades in Major League History. I mean, the fact that we got Anything more than a bag of baseballs and a couple minor leaguers -- given the lack of bargaining room the M's were left with -- is outstanding. The fact that we got a All-Star caliber Gold-Glove-level centerfielder, who is not only a solid ballplayer but rapidly ascending the magical staircase to "all time fan favorite" levels is amazing. Am I crazy, or do I see Mike Cameron becoming the universally loved Mr. Mariner type similar to Nate McMillan with the Sonics? Stop me if you think I'm going to far...)

Anyway, where was I... oh yeah, Griffey could have a statue outside Safeco Field, and people would refer to it as the "House That Griffey Built." Seriously, folks... but it's too late for that now. The Ken Griffey Jr. fruit has long since fallen off the vine and rotted on the ground. In 25 years, when fans vote to pick the "Mariners 50th Anniversary all-time Team" we'll be seeing Mike Cameron as the CF -- with Griffey garnering votes, for sure, but obscured by the long shadow that Cammy will cast in this town. And that isn't to say Cameron is a superstar -- I'm his biggest fan and I'm not even going to go so far as to say he's a star player. He's one of those "B" players who just has those Intangibles... the type of player you just WANT to root for -- and isn't it always just a Little bit easier to root for those "B" guys than the "A"-level stars?

You're the lego Native! Ug-a-wug! You're the lego native! You're wild and adventurous, and just a little bit insane. You know how to have a good time, and uh, you really like meat.

Take the "What Lego character are you?" test! by ctbx

Save Futurama!

As I suspected, the supposed Anna Kournokova pictures in Penthouse (which I have not yet seen) are bullshit.

So the Mariners waltz into the Bronx and sweep the Yankers. Except for Abbot in the bottom of the ninth today (more on that later), they do it somewhat definitively, winning two games through domination and the third through the "dramatic comeback" script.

I guess it comes around to the same old question: "Just how good ARE these guys?" except for the obvious problem, and I'm sure I am not the only one affected by this: Does any of this Matter until October?

You see, we can sweep the Yankers in a three-game, early-May series all we want, but the question is can we sweep the Yankees in a 2-game set as the first two games in best-of-seven series? That's what matters, and the ol' Crusty SeaMen can win all the want between now and September, but it will mean Nothing until the advace to the World Series.

And Don't get me wrong here, folks, last year meant A Lot, more than any season in Seattle Sports History (save for perhaps the '95 season) but really, what does it matter if they do it again this year and don't go to the Series? Let's be honest, we can (and should) have as much fun as we can with this team, we should live it up as much as possible because I Guaran-god-damn-tee you we'll look back on these years with unparalelled fondness at Some point in our future; BUT, the Mariners are shouldered with a "burden" of expectation that no team in Seattle Sports history has been saddled with before.

As stupid as this sounds to say, the Mariners looked "shakey" coming into this three-games set. Their starting pitching was looking somewhat suspect (Abbot especially, and Pinerio choking in his first start of the year against the ChiSox) and their offense was inconsistent, to say the least (blowing up for occasional huge outbursts, but also getting almost entirely shut down against the Yankees at Safeco last weekend). Now that seems like a distant memory again, and they just seem to keep rolling -- and is it worth mentioning this is without Edgar?

Unfortunately, there is Abbott, who seems to have completely lost it. That isn't to say he can't, or won't, get it back, but right now he is a disaster, and is such a liablility it isn't even worth sending him out with an 8-run lead in the bottom of the ninth.

But the good news is Freddy Garcia is starting to look like a Yankee-beater. Consider his last two outings, both against the Yankees: 16 innings pitched, 2 runs, 8 hits.

Here is a guy that may be the most underappreciated pitcher in the AL. He didn't seem to garner serious Cy Young consideration last year, even though the award was HIS. Why? It's simple: What do you want out of a starting pitcher? Pitch a lot of innings, and don't give up runs. The Chief LED THE AL in innings pitched and ERA (amongst starters)!!!!!! Of course, in the typical ignorance which seems to dictate most post-season awards (like John Olerud NOT winning the Gold Glove for first basemen last year -- just such an oversight which gives the Gold Glove all the credibility of Unlimited Hydroplane racing in my mind) Roger Clemens won because he posted that 20-3 record, and he plays for the Yankees -- even though he didn't lead his OWN TEAM in ERA OR innings pitched (and that would be Mike Mussina, who except for his near-perfect game, "struggled" last year because he won "only" 15 games). Hell, Freddy was overshadowed by his own teammate, Jamie Moyer, because Moyer achieved that magical 20-win mark (and I am taking Nothing away from Jamie who had an outstanding year). But the two numbers still loom large, undeniably, unchanged, glaringly: 238.2 IP, 3.05 ERA.